I am a "wannabe." The reality of our nature is that we are all "wannabes. We all have illusions of being what we are not, but seek what we don't have or necessarily need. Every "wannabe' would like to have more money, a better or newer car, a fine home, be revered and respected by our peers, have great jobs and great families. Me too.
I wannabe a better Christan, attain some small level of sanctity, be a better example, have great health and better vision(so I can read more!).
That isn't exactly how it works in real, day to day life and strife. There is nothing wrong being a 'wannabe' as long as we point ourselves in the right direction. Be sure that your "wannabe" is not just a delusion rather than a an illusion. An illusion is the stuff of dreams and delusions is what brings us down. An illusion is what we think we see, something like a picture within a picture,but has the potential to become plausible. A delusion is what we think we are when it is not a reality, but sometimes act or react accordingly, often inappropriately. There is a very fine line between the two.
We are what we are, never satisfied and wanting more and more and better and better. I know that I have everything I need, but being a bipedal truant of the human kind, I fall into the realm of a "wannabe," too.
What I would really like to have is a deep and abiding spirituality. I have to work for it..toward it; it is my goal, to become a better person...a better Christan..than I am.
What I seek is not an easy job or condition to attain. Sometimes I say too much or the wrong things. Sometimes I make the wrong decisions or spend money foolishly. I should and can do better. My fallible nature is all that I have to work with, but I try. Sometimes...not hard enough! I am a nobody in a sea of nobodies and most of us are all in the same, leaky boat. We try to patch the holes and caulk the boards that separate us(me) from the empty sea. Noah built himself an Ark, but I have no Ark other than my faith and sometimes it needs a little bailing.
My sister will tell you that I am a phony, a fake, a pretender. Perhaps she is right. I make no claims otherwise. I see myself as just another "wannabe;" a nobody, no one special and I know the reality of this. I just have that "illusion," or desire of something...SOMEONE better than I am.
We can spend a lifetime in the mode of a "wannabe" and get not far from point C, trying to get to point A, never quite making the grade we are shooting for. It is an never ending pursuit of learning the lessons of life and the way of Christ. Will I make the cut? I don't know where I may be on God's little report card. I know it depends on how much I or anyone, wants to put into getting on the honor roll. I just keep my eyes on the mountaintop and continue to scrabble upward. Yes, I fall often and slide back, but I try to dig in and pull myself up, reaching for the top.
You have heard this one, I am sure.
"BETTER AND BETTER EVERY DAY, BETTER AND BETTER IN EVERY WAY.
Pray for it. Work for it. Make it true
END
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